The Early Bird Gets No Breakfast at All

Last year I decided that I needed to get my arse out of bed and get to the gym before work if I was ever, well, going to get to the gym. I like working out in the morning for a few reasons. For one, the gym is far less crowded before work than after work. I also like the idea that I can just roll out of bed and throw on gym clothes rather than stand for 30 minutes in front of my closet deciding what to wear. But now that the weather has turned cold, and I mean bitterly cold, pulling myself out from under the electric blanket has been difficult, to say the least.

Today, the New York Times reports on a study that says exercising in the morning, before eating, can help keep off the holiday pounds. It's not just working out in the morning that's beneficial, it's working out in a "fasted state." I've always assumed I need to eat a little something in the morning in order to power through my workout, but I'm always struggling to figure out what that little something should be. Perhaps I need nothing at all.

Of course, this study was conducted with men. That doesn't always translate well for women. But hey, I'll give up my pre-workout granola bar if it means I can fit in the same size pants after Christmas.

For more on the study, read Phys Ed: The Benefits of Exercising Before Breakfast.

The Ugly Truth

I was talking to a co-worker of mine about Weight Watchers. I know, everyone has had tremendous success with the program and it seems rather foolproof. Except for me. My co-worker said that she likes the plan because being weighed weekly at a meeting holds her accountable. I told her that I would simply skip the meetings during the weeks when I knew I didn't lose any weight or worse, gained. She gave me one of those looks that said volumes without words.

And then it hit me.

This is my MO. I avoid. If I don't like what I'm going to see/hear/feel I just simply avoid it. Which is why, after nearly 2 months, I haven't written a single blog post. Instead of using this as a means to hold myself accountable for my actions, I simply avoid it altogether.

The problem is, the weight started piling back on. After losing about 13 pounds, I suffered a minor injury that was causing pain in my ankle. I was told not to workout and stop wearing heels for awhile. Ballet flats at work posed no major issue. Not working out could be my downfall. And it was a tiny thing that caused a total setback. Once I stopped at the gym, I started eating more. I had convinced myself that if I couldn't workout why eat right? A ridiculous thought. My health is not an all-or-nothing concept. When I finally returned to the gym I hopped on the scale to find I had gained back 3 lbs. That's a lot when all you've lost is 13 lbs. in the first place.

So I'm pushing myself to get back on track. I packed a healthy lunch today. I have a big glass of water sitting next to me and my gym clothes are in the car. And I'm writing a blog post that makes me admit I avoid the ugly truth.

There are No Vacations from Healthy Eating

There are few things that can sabotage a diet quicker than a vacation. So it was with great trepidation that I set off for the Dominican Republic a couple weeks ago. I knew little about Dominican food aside from rice and beans, but I knew myself well enough to know that "vacation" in my mind means "pig out." I think we have a tendency to take a vacation from everything in our lives the moment we check out from work. But I didn't want all my hard work (13 pounds so far) to be for nothing if I allowed myself a vacation from my diet. I had already stressed over swimsuits, trying on literally dozens of swimsuits that I ordered online, found on the back of a clearance aisle or dug out of my closet. I wanted to make sure the suit I left with still fit on the last day.

I'm happy to say I came home lighter, both emotionally and physically. Instead of eating at restaurants or grabbing fast food, my travel partner Denis and I opted to cook our own meals. In the Dominican that meant getting fresh seafood - enormous prawns, lobster and tuna steaks - right off the beach. We grilled all of it with nothing more than a little olive oil, some parsley and garlic. You can also buy avocados and mangos right off the back of a truck, which we did nearly every day.We made a "Serbian salad" called Shopska Salata, which is nothing more than cucumber, tomato, onion, feta and oil and vinegar. It's become a quick, easy dish for me to make for lunch.

But there were two reasons why I was able to eat this way on vacation, but find I struggle to do so at home. First, I had a companion for every meal. I eat alone a lot. It makes me rely on the food as a form of activity and a form of comfort. Having someone to cook with made me look forward to meal times for something more than just the food. And having someone to sit down with (at a table and not a couch) became the activity and the comfort. For me, it was no longer about the food but about the meal.

I also had a built-in support system who kept me in check in a way I can't seem to do for myself. At home I let my mind get the best of me and end up eating until the guilt takes over. Denis knows me well and knows my goals, which means he doesn't suggest things I shouldn't eat or tempt me with foods he knows are my weakness. Even after a long bus ride home from New York City one day, he whipped up a pot of polenta with skim milk when I was ready to make grilled cheese.

I'm on my own again, and so far I'm doing well. I still have to get back to the gym, but I'm not letting food be a constant stream of thought through my head like I did before. We'll see how long I last, but in the end, no one can lose my weight for me.

Yes, Sir!

I will attempt this in my cubicle.

I've always been thankful that I didn't work in a place where my job depended on my physical fitness. The most physical activity my job has required is perhaps running across campus in a pair of heels when I'm late for a meeting, or trekking up the really big hill (that we call a mountain) from one building to the next. But there is no one waiting for me at the office door at 8:30 a.m. with a scale and a measuring tape, and for that I'm quite grateful.

There are of course professions where your physical fitness is demanded. My Dad, a career firefighter, threw up when he finished (and passed) his agility test to get into the department. We can't have firefighters who get winded trying to save someone from a four-story building. It's probably the military that makes the most depends on its personnel. I remember a friend who returned from Iraq obsessed with exercise and weight lifting. Turns out boredom breeds healthy habits.

I decided to take a page from the whole Army lifestyle thing and try a boot camp class a couple years ago at a gym. At 5:45 I ran stairs, hills, lifted sand bags, and did these horrible push-ups on cement parking spot markers. It was rough, but it worked. I had more energy than I knew what to do with when I came walking in the office door at 8:30 a.m.

So it came somewhat of a surprise to read a Times article this week that says the Army is doing away with a lot of those sit-ups and push-ups in favor of exercise that resembles yoga and pilates. Seems the Army has a weight issue too. In fact, a report says that "between 1995 and 2008, the proportion of potential recruits who failed their physicals each year because they were overweight rose nearly 70 percent."

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think I'd make more progress if someone was barking commands at me at the gym rather than telling me to breath in through my mouth and out through my nose. Or was that in through my nose and out through my mouth? 

You can read more in "Making Soldiers Fit to Fight, Without the Situps."

Turns Out, Chicken Isn't So Good After All

Last spring I went through a couple weeks where I gave up all meat with the exception of seafood. I don't eat a lot of meat to begin with. Often I can go a day or two before I realize I haven't had any. I admit that I felt better, from both a health and a moral perspective. And yet, I've never been inclined to give it up 100%. But I was reading some new research that might encourage me to cut even more from the carnivore side of my diet. A new study shows that the link between consuming meat and gaining weight remains strong - for those who consume red meat AND white meat. In fact, people gained about 4 more pounds over a five-year period for every extra 250 grams of meat they ate daily.

Read the whole study on NPR at:
Eating More Meat, White Or Red, Is Bad For The Waistline

The Perfect Body?

We are inundated with images of the "perfect" body type and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. Every time I lose a pound or two I'm excited that I'm one step closer to my ideal. But what is my ideal? I keep saying I want to be thinner, fitter, healthier, but how will I know when I've reached it? It seems like once I've had a taste for a smaller waist (I'm just starting to fit into a smaller size now) I start changing my goal to something bigger. I haven't been a single-digit clothing size for as long as I can remember. One of my goals is to get into an 8 and stay there. But then I start wondering if I should aim for a 6 or a 4. The truth is, I can't even imagine I'd look anything like myself at that size, and I'm not sure that's a good thing.

As I flip through the images of women in magazines and catalogs, I find myself gravitating toward the athletic, muscular woman. But even in the era of Michelle Obama arms, we see these images of the strong woman too infrequently. I think this is why I was startled to see the image I included in this post. It's an ad for a Marc Jacobs bathing suit. The tiny arms, the rib cage, even the awkward pose sums up everything wrong with the "ideal" woman. If this is what we're faced with by simply skimming a catalog, how will we ever be satisfied with who we are?

Tracy Anderson Method

I have become minorly obsessed with Tracy Anderson. I mean seriously, look at this photo. These are some serious abs. Tracy Anderson is the woman responsible for keeping Gwynth Paltrow and Maddona in shape. Now, I understand that these women have the money and time to have whatever body they like, but I was still intrigued. I've googled her, read her Web site top to bottom and watched nearly every YouTube video I could find. I decided to give it a shot. I've ordered her mat workout (which I hear will kick my ass) and this morning I tried her treadmill workout. Thanks to some nice woman on Facebook, I was able to get the full webisode of the workout. I'm sure I made a fool of myself at the gym, but let me tell you, after just a few minutes my heart rate spiked and the sweat started running. She said to start with 15 minutes (which I did, with some tiny breaks) and eventually build up to 40 minutes. It's also going to take me some time feel confident enough to let go of the treadmill during the sashays without flying off the back into some unsuspecting bike rider behind me. If you're looking to mix up your workout, give it a try! Just let go of any misgivings of how you might look if you're in public.

Time for Ourselves

I realized it's been a month (OK, a month and a day) since I last posted. That's a long time! Why did it take me so long? Well, life seems to get in the way. It's a pathetic excuse, but one we all seem to return to time and time again. I work full-time, I work part-time, and I'm a graduate student. I also work with a local high school, signed up to work with a community garden and have a  house to manage by myself. It's a recipe for tight schedules, sleepy mornings, and evenings of falling asleep on the couch.

But I think I'm not alone in saying that when time is limited, one of the first things we (especially women) do is neglect the things that are good for us. How many times have you sacrificed your personal health and well-being for the sake of others or other commitments? The first things I scratch from my schedule are exercise, sleep and proper eating. I can't remember the last time I took a proper trip to the grocery store. Instead, I eat on the fly, or I rely on the food that magically appears in front of me - breakfast treats at work, candy in a colleagues desk. But I allow that to seep into everything I do. It becomes a slippery slope. This week I've had french fries twice and a bag of potato chips - two things I'm not even very fond of!

Today is the start of a long holiday weekend and now that I have a few days to myself I'm starting to regroup and hope I haven't done too much damage. The good thing to remember when it comes to weight loss is that anything you've put back on, you can take back off again. Any wrong can be undone. The trick is that once you get off track, you can make the very next choice the right one. I went to the gym today and I've only gained two pounds (despite the tacos I had for lunch). It's a gradual process, but I'm going to use the Memorial Day weekend to get back on track.

A Fitness Bucket List

On Sunday morning I could hear my phone chime from far beneath the covers. It was 8 a.m. and my friend Katie was letting me know that she and her husband John were en route to the start of the St. Luke's Half-Marathon, in which John would be running. The start line was a block from my house, and for the past 30 minutes I had been trying to ignore the bubbly voices streaming past my bedroom window. I agreed to meet Katie - after a big cup of coffee - at the finish line.

Once upon a time, I ran my first 5k at this very race. After taking a "Beginning Running" class (yes, we all have to start somewhere) I signed up. I tackled a few more, but never hit my stride, excuse the pun. The races provided good motivation for me, not because I wanted to break a PR, but because I simply wanted to cross the finish line, and to do so I had to log the hours in training.

A few years ago I was even inspired to walk a full marathon. I coaxed my friend Leah into joining me and the two of us trained by walking hours on end. We finished the Hartford Marathon in just over 7 hours and it's safe to say I will never, ever walk (nor run) another marathon in this lifetime. I was frustrated that I didn't lose weight during the training process, but I did gain strength and endurance. It also gave me the chance to get to know Leah much better. Walking 10 or 15 miles at a stretch gives you the time to talk that you can never quite do over the occasional lunch or happy hour. I'm sure she was cursing me under her breath on more than one occasion though!

Inspired by seeing John cross the finish line on Sunday, and hearing my friend Michelle recount her first-ever 5k, I began thinking about what comes next. Having a big goal helps motivate me and distract me from weight-loss tunnel vision. It's easier to think about a race than a scale. I started looking online for women's triathlons last night. This morning I checked my email and saw a message from Leah:

Subject: My Two Bucket List Goals for Fitness - Complete a Triathlon and Backpack a Section of the Appalachian trail - Want to join! 

What are the chances? So now I'm thinking, can I complete a triathlon? 

My Frenemy the Scale

I got on the scale at the gym on Tuesday morning and I was down two pounds. Two pounds! Psychologically it gave me the mental boost I needed to bang out a good workout. Thursday morning I returned to the gym, got on the scale, and I gained five pounds. Five pounds?? WTF.

I couldn't help but feel deflated. When women get their period (as I had that Thursday) their body doesn't cooperate in more ways than one. According to Weight Watchers, the biggest culprit of weight gain during a menstrual cycle is water retention.  Read "Menstrual Cycle and Weight Gain." But they assure me that it's minor and temporary. I don't really consider five pounds minor when I'm knocking off a mere one to two pounds a week. Two things will help offset the water retention: lower your sodium intake and drink more fluids. I'll keep that in mind for next time.

This actually raises a bigger issue for me though. How often is too often to get on the scale? I struggle to resist the call of the scale when I walk into the gym. I want to know at any given time just how much weight I (hopefully) lost. But our bodies can fluctuate as much as three pounds a day. So, daily weigh-ins are a sure saboteur to any progress. I'm going to try to get on the scale once a week - the same day, the same time. And maybe next month at this time I avoid the scale altogether before it ends up mangled in the locker room trash.

The Losing Streak Starts Here

So this is what it's come to. I have been battling with weight issues since I landed in middle school, and now I'm resorting to some good old-fashion public humiliation to get myself on track. The truth is, I'm like so many other women who think about their body as many times a day as men think about sex. But at 34, I've reached a point in my life where it's no longer just about how I look, it's about how I feel (although I'd be lying if I said I didn't want the kick-ass body to go with the optimal health.)

Like countless other women, I've tried all the diets - with little to no success. Ok, no success. Weight Watchers, Atkins, The South Beach Diet, The Abs Diet - you name the food, I've either eaten it or given it up. This time, it's all me. It's my diet. I'm owning this weight loss and I'm not paying to have someone publicly weigh me or another book that collects dust on a shelf. And my hope is that others will help keep me on my toes.

I know what to do. No, honestly I do, I can prove it. Read Get on a Losing Streak and you'll wonder why the hell I can't practice what I preach. But I can, or at least I've convinced myself I can. And it all starts now. I don't plan on chronicling the ins and outs of my day. No one wants to read that. Instead, I'm going to cull all the information and recipes I pore through day after day in an effort to learn how to slowly, steadily, healthily lose the weight that's kept me from skinny jeans and a bikini for years.